The Hybrid-Armstrong Conspiracy

The following news flash was posted in the comments over at Twisted Spoke upon further investigation into this article about Levi Leipheimer's performance in the prologue time trial at Paris-Nice. I post it here in it's entirety for your reading enjoyment.

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You have stumbled onto Bruyneel’s master plan alluded to in the Nike commercial. The plan is not to clone Lance repeatedly but rather to morph the rest of the team into hybrid-Armstrongs with the Most desired powers of both (kinda like a liger).
If you’ve ever seen ‘Multiplicity’ with Michael Keaton you know that the clone never comes out exactly like the original and that a copy of even the hardest working clone will be completely unusable.
By metamorphosing other riders into hybrid-Armstrongs he can pick and choose the best traits of the peloton and make them more Lance-like. We have seen the TT abilities of Levi-Armstrong but what about the climbing ability of Chechu-Armstrong or the ultra-super domestiques Horner-Armstrong and Popo-Armstrong.
Yes, The Shack is going to be a truly formidable team come this July.

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More has been revealed due to the un-timely and unfortunate loss of Gert Steegmans due to a broken collarbone. An unknown source has quoted Johan Bruyneel as saying “not again, this could ruin everything.”. This is obviously a reference to a similar injury Lance suffered last season. After an extensive fact checking session with my magic 8-ball I have confirmed the following details:
Bruyneel’s plan was to accomplish the Merckxean task of capturing all 3 jerseys. The Gert-Armstrong hybrid was to take the Green, Chechu the mountains and in the event that Lance himself could not take the yellow, He would still have cards to play with Levi-Armstrong or Andreas K-Armstrong.
What ultimately brought this to light was when it was revealed that the Gert-Armstrong project was the prototype and had been in the works for some time. This was the precipitous for the problems he had at Katusha. The fear was that DNA testing would uncover the Hybrid-Armstrong DNA and blow the lid off the entire project.


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